Diet and weight talk is all around us! While we can do our best to change the subject or leave the room, it can also help to build resilience to that rhetoric. Sharing three tips on the blog today to become more resilient to diet talk!
Diet culture is the sea we are swimming in. And like a fish who doesn’t recognize it’s in the water because that’s all it knows, we too can become unaware of the reality surrounding us.
Once folks learn about diet culture and develop an understanding of it, many people share a common experience of seeing and hearing it everywhere. It can often feel kinda overwhelming and hard to manage.
There are tangible ways to handle this like changing the subject, leaving the room, or setting a boundary, which I talk about in my post on 3 ways to navigate diet talk, but what about the inner work?
How do we develop a greater capacity for tolerating the discomfort that comes along with hearing this? How do we stay sturdy within ourselves so we don’t internalize what’s coming into our sphere?
The answer lies in building resilience.
What is resilience anyway?
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines resilience as “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”
Some folks may be more apt to being resilient than others based on their ability to cope, resources in place, and how they view the world. But it’s not that you’re either born resilient or not.
According to the APA, research shows us that resilience can be practiced and cultivated with various resources and skills.
So yes, with time and practice and intentionality, you can strengthen your resilience muscle!
3 tips for building resilience to diet talk
1. Build or lean on your non-diet community.
Connection is key for building resilience. It’s hard to do radical, counter-cultural work on your own – it can feel super lonely and isolating. It can make you question whether or not you’re on the right path.
Connect with people who are understanding and empathetic to how challenging it is to choose to heal your relationship with food in a culture that praises weight loss and prioritizes dieting. Having a few trustworthy friends who can validate your feelings around frustration or grief that your officemates were talking about their weight loss challenge at the lunch table again can help you build resilience.
If you don’t have anyone in your life who’s on this path, you’re not alone! Many people who find their way to intuitive eating don’t know anyone else who is choosing a different path. You could try searching for a support group that might meet your needs. There are non-diet, intuitive eating support groups, there are support groups for folks in larger bodies navigating living in an anti-fat culture. There are hiking groups for fat folks.
If you’re working 1:1 with a clinician who specializes in a weight-inclusive, non-diet or intuitive eating approach, they will likely have recommendations for local support groups for you.
2. Get clear on your values.
Values are like an internal compass that help give your life direction and meaning. They can help pull you toward a more rich and meaningful life.
Having a clear set of values can also help you stay rooted and grounded when diet and weight loss talk is all around you.
You can say to yourself something like “that path doesn’t align with my values of compassion, authenticity, trust, and acceptance.”
Then you can take action from a place of your values rather than letting someone else’s actions persuade you.
Have you ever done a values exercise? It’s one of my favorite activities to do with clients.
To discover your own values, consider buying a values card deck or for an easier and more cost-effective route, google “values list” and print one out! Not every set of values will look the same and they never will be exhaustive so feel free to add your own if you feel like something is missing.
Once you have your values list, try to narrow down your personal values to a top 10 list. And then a top 5 list! Maybe even a top 3 list.
Maybe you ask yourself:
Is this diet and weight loss rhetoric moving me in the direction of my values or away from my values?
How do these top values relate to my desired relationship with food and body?
3. Take action toward your goals.
Making progress toward your goals, however big or small, can feel empowering and can help cultivate feelings of resilience.
This also helps orient you toward your purpose or set of values. Maybe self-care is a value and so one of your goals is eating regularly throughout the day.
Taking action toward that goal could look like:
setting reminders on your phone every few hours to eat
writing out a grocery list to go shopping
Getting foods in the house that are easily accessible / don’t require much effort to make
When you hear someone talking about how they lost 5 pounds, rather than internalizing that and wondering if you should be working on that too, ask yourself what are the goals I’m working on right now, and can I take one small step toward that goal today?
Remember, developing resilience is a practice that takes time, effort, and intention. Be patient with yourself if diet and weight loss talk still triggers you. Take care of yourself in the ways that you need to in the meantime, meaning feel free to step away from the conversation or set a boundary.
And of course, our team would love to further support you on your journey. Click here to book a nutrition assessment today.
Tell me in the comments below, how do you develop resilience to diet and weight loss comments?
For more on a non-diet approach, check out my posts below:
3 Tips to Improve Body Image
5 Tips to Break the Binge-Restrict Cycle
What is the Hunger Fullness Scale?
The Science on Dieting and Weight Loss
